Christmas time is here again. It still doesn’t feel like it has been a full year since last Christmas hell it still doesn’t feel like it’s been a year since two Christmas’s ago, but alas it has.
I feel like I have a huge case of the Bah-humbug bug’s, oh you have never heard of this?! Well sit right on down and I’ll tell you a little story about this seasonal cold like virus almost an allergy really.
It starts as you see them rolling out Christmas decorations in the middle of October, you sneeze here and cough there but think nothing of it. Next you get a massive headache right behind your eyes as you step out into the crowed the day after Thanksgiving, it feels like if you sneeze one more time your head is going to fly off. This symptom is growing as people ring bells outside of every store you go to. Soon your stomach gets all tied in knots as you hear Holiday cheer music blasting over head no matter where you go it follows you. Go for a ride in your car don’t turn on the radio it’s there, go into a store you cannot hide from it there either, even in the bathrooms it will float to you and your ear will catch the chorus to “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”. Yet of course, you have to go to the store you have to get gifts for your loved ones; if for nothing else you have to get groceries, don’t you? No? Well what on earth do you eat?! Okay fine, don’t answer me that.
Finally, you look at people volunteering going around smiling more than usual as if this time of the year isn’t the most stressful time of all. You think to yourself through your coughing, sneezing, headache and upset stomach why don’t these people( if they really believe in doing good spend time volunteering) do that throughout the rest of the year? Do they really think that a month or two of good deeds will really clear them for their bad behavior the rest of the year? I think not! (Granted I cannot say I am perfect in this it just makes me feel that we are all hypocrites. But I digress.)
Then finally, as Christmas day approaches the worst symptom occurs it is the worst symptom by far, making you wish your head had exploded in one of those many coughing sneezing fits you have had, you have to spend the day with family that you try all year to avoid. You sit there, smiling politely thinking if you crawled away now who would notice, what about five minutes from now? However, by the time you even to really consider it, it is too late, you are caught; your great aunt Joan asks you ‘how your life is and wondering when you are going to find someone to settle down with or have kids’ or any other topic that she feels you are lacking in your life. Sighing you explain yet again that you are happy single or not ready for kids or any other excuse and or honest answer you can come up with to detour her into talking to or if not about anyone else but yourself. Now it is not like that for everyone, some spend this day with close friends partying, some people get rip roaring drunk, and some others spend it alone, huddled up to their space heater wishing they had the luxury of that last annoying symptom.
So yes, I think I have a case of the bah-humbug bugs granted I love being able to spend time with friends and family and being able to have reasons to get them things but for it to be as mandatory as it has become makes my skin crawl. It seems it is turning into a family/friend fueled Valentine’s Day, in which I’m hoping all of you know is pretty much just a Hallmark Holiday.
So now that you know what the ‘bahumbug’ bug is I ask have you caught it too, or are you sitting there scowling at my lack of Christmas cheer?